Sunday, October 21, 2012

Being Sick

For the last week or so, I've been sick. Not desperately sick, just sick enough to get up in the morning and wish I hadn't. Just sick enough to go back to bed for long, lingering naps. Just sick enough to feel and look lousy.

There are a few benefits to being sick:
  • I can skip my workouts with a clear conscience.
  • I can let chores go without feeling guilty.
  • I can indulge in forbidden pleasures like reading all day.
  • I can work on my novel instead of taking care of other, more pressing duties.
But there are some distinct drawbacks beyond the obvious one of feeling lousy.
  • I have no real interest in anything I read or see.
  • I become grumpy.
  • I feel sorry for myself.
  • If the illness lasts for more than a day, I become convinced I have a life-threatening condition.
This week I thought seriously of putting my affairs in order.

  •  I remembered that I need to update my will, and decided I would need to take care of that loose end very soon. While I still had the wherewithal to sign my name.

  • I decided to bring my loved ones to my side one by one to bid them each a loving farewell. Since there are quite a few, I figured I'd better start the procession to my deathbed very soon. Immediately in fact.

  • I thought carefully about what I hadn't finished yet and realized there was just my current novel, now in the process of revision. I decided I'd have to keep myself going long enough to finish revising it.
As you can see, I am a drama queen. Big time!

Nor do I suffer in silence. Anyone foolish enough to get near me when I'm sick will hear me moan piteously about my condition and my impending demise.


There is a serious side to all of this: Apparently my attitude goes all to hell the minute I do not feel up to par. What does that say about how much control I have over my thoughts and emotions? Or for that matter, my perceptions of the world?

There's a big truth in here somewhere about how we are all limited by our attitudes, beliefs, emotions, biases. We all look at the world through lenses distorted by how we feel--not just physically--but emotionally too. There's a great big world around us. We only see the part that affects us. Which is the tiniest sliver of what is there.

Moreover, we only see that sliver through eyes biassed by our experiences, hopes, fears, wants, and dislikes.

When I got over my illness, I no longer believed I was dying. I no longer felt irritable and self-pitying. Life was beautiful once again.

But how do I get over the distortions I'm not even aware of? How do I take my tiny sliver of the world and see it clearly and without bias? 

An even bigger question--how do I take my tiny sliver and expand it to take in more reality? 

4 comments:

  1. Glad you're feeling better. Glad you weren't ill enough to stop blogging. Something to be "said" (or "blogged") about that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thats just beautiful Lee,Im glad you are a little better,being Im the one closest to You and and I get to wait on you and let you cry on my shoulders and convence you that the worlds not coming to an end.Best of all we get to love one another a little longer .LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. There are actually various titles attached to this
    type of job. It is not uncommon for massage therapists to consult with
    physiotherapists before and during a massage.
    Physical therapist or physiotherapist is a really captivating career in the field of
    medicine.
    my webpage > melancholic depression criteria

    ReplyDelete
  4. Living off with water and fresh juices will leave you feeling sick and weak.
    A sea salt colon irrigation, combine 2 teaspoons of crushed dandelion leaves to 1 cup of water.
    These feces can house toxins that contribute to these conditions come from things like
    polluted air, toxins in the body the growth of tumor cells, thereby providing anti-cancer benefits.
    You wouldn't think it, but a beet burrito in a kale tortilla, seasoned with basil and cinnamon isn't half bad.


    Have a look at my web page does detox clean your system for good

    ReplyDelete